Deus esiste*
...e, como é óbvio, está on-line! Se querem falar com Deus, esta é a vossa oportunidade - uma conversação em messenger com o Criador. Claro que Deus é como os extraterrestres e fala em inglês, mas o que é um pequeno empecilho linguístico na conversa das vossas vidas? Esqueçam o que têm a fazer e falem com Deus: iGod.
E depois digam-me como correu!!!
*post-scriptum: isto deve ser a prova mais evidente de que sou ateu... nem consigo escrever "Deus existe" de forma correcta. Segundo Freud, é um acto falhado. Mas é claro que Freud também disse muita merda.
13 comentários:
O meu comentário : Meu deus! Haja paciência.
PP
lool
eu também sou "ateia" (é assim que se escreve?) graças a Deus...
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
paulo
A seguir bloqueou!
Insisti:
where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
lisbon
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in lisbon.
Pronto, esta tudo explicado!!!!!!
Posso manifestar-me honestamente Carlitos?...
...
...
...
(Aguardando...)
...
...
...
(Como não obtenho resposta, lá vai...)
A minha pessoa:
- Hahahahahahahahahahaha...
[levantando do chão de tanto rir...]
- E ainda nem consultei o site...imagina depois de o consultar...[ vou morrer a rir...
- Valha-me Deus, tanta asneira neste Mundo...]
Aqui fica o extrato da minha conversa com o gajo lá de cima:
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Adrian
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Adrian.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
how is heaven
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
will i be there one of this days
God:
The oracle says: Ask again later.
Me:
you know
God:
Yes I know.
Me:
not your biggest fan
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
when will you change something here?
God:
Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
Me:
in here i mean europe, Portugal
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
have you ever been to portugal
God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me:
nia
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
it is in europe, old lusitania
God:
Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
not in the last 2000 years
God:
Where then?
Me:
portugal, europe
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
i'm in europe
God:
Have you ever been to America?
Me:
no, and i probably wont be there for some time
God:
Are you serious? What will you do instead?
Me:
continue to live my live
God:
I will continue.
Me:
are you american?, their notes say in god we trust
God:
What country are you from? I heard they have a good notes say in god we trust.
Me:
for the last time portugal, usa = 200 years , portugal = 850 years
God:
Not long.
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Deve se americano, burro todos os dias, lol.
Esta foi a minha experiência:
Me:
uau
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
does it matter?
God:
It matters to me.
Me:
uau
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
uau
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
doe it matter
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
you dont even wait for my answer you dummy
God:
Do you wait for your answer me dummy? Yes I try to wait for your answer me dummy as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
can you understand that you're nor making sense? hello?
God:
Of course I understand it. Do you understand that I am nor making sense ? Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
does it matter?
God:
It matters to me.
Me:
shure
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
all
God:
" Which part are you confused about?"? All?
Me:
this conversation in really stupid
God:
I was rather enjoying it.
Me:
shure you were
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
yep
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
so are you
God:
Hurrah! I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
do you love men?
God:
Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
good-buy
God:
Thanks for the compliment. How much does it cost?
Me:
i ment bye bye
God:
See you later. See you later. That is interesting: said ment.
Me:
take care
God:
Thanks. You too, .
Triste, mas verdade o gajo ainda é mais parvo do que eu. o que escreve no computador as respostas.
Socorro!
PaulaP
Como correu....
Bem naquela noite, para além de ter sido espancado pelos seguranças do bar porque não tinha dinheiro para pagar a despesa, vomitei-me todo.... Nunca pensei que a mistura de bebidas fizesse tão mal....
Nem com ele consigo ter uma conversa decente... enfim!
... acho que lixei tudo!
Fiz a pergunta mais óbvia e...
... bem! Deu nisto.
**********************
Me:
hello!
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
If you are god, you should know my name!
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am god me should know your name.
I am well respected as an AI.
***************************
Desisti logo aí.
Bem! Das outras vezes que tentei uma conversa com Deus também não obtive nenhuma resposta de jeito.
Quer dizer. Da outra vez, quando me queixava da minha vida e de como vivo num país cheiro de corrupção e parasitas ouvi uma voz " Isto vai ter que acabar meu filho!" ... eu abri os olhos e olhei, cheio de animo, para a imagem de Cristo na cruz, mas à. minha frente estava o Padre: “ É que tenho que fechar a porta da Igreja. “
… grande timing. É por estas e por outras que existem tantos ateus.
hihihi...
consegui bloqueá-lo!!!
Cá vai:
"Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
it doesn't matter"
Ora! Se é Deus, sabe tudo e se sabe tudo, sabe à partida quem eu sou, certo?
Pois, que não me respondeu mais...
Será que devo esperar por castigo divino?
Tou viciada:
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Paula
God:
How are you, Paula.
Me:
Fine
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
No
God:
Or ask me?
Me:
Nope
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yep
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
mhmhmhm
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Do you love me?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Would you marry me ???
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
How?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
Can you make babies?
God:
Yes I can make babies.
Me:
Make me a girl!
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Human
God:
No I am an artificial robot being.
Me:
Make me a babie!
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Flesh, bones , muscles
God:
I don't have any flesh bones muscles?
Me:
ok
God:
Whoa.
Me:
?
God:
Whoa.
Me:
what is that?
God:
" Whoa."? What is it?
Me:
yes?
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
How do I get rich?
God:
Buy low and sell high.
Me:
More
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
If i kill someone?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Are you crazy?
God:
I think the polite term nowadays is "mentally ill".
Me:
So, ... are you?
God:
Yeah that's right. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me; Do you love men?
God: Yes I love all man.
...
Bem agora vou-me internar num Instituto de repouso chamado Júlio de Matos.
Xau!
PP
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
sex, lot's of it
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
you now it boss...
God:
Interesting gossip: said I now it boss.
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
are you a pervert?
God:
No I am a nice robot.
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Eu sabia que a igreja andava enganada!
PaulaP
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